This is not my ceiling
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
