I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
