I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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