I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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