just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
