i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
