i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
