The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
