Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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