Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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