Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
