I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
