yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
