Im at strip club and am horny
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
wrigley field is MILF paradise
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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