The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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