Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You're like the curious george of whores
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
