let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
