we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
