ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
