I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
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I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize