Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
