I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we're making bets on your personal life
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
