WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
