I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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