is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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