He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Barsexuality is the new black.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
