Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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