Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
