There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
