Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
