worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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