we're blogging at a bar
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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