ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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