i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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