i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
