HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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