Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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