8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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