Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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