what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My bed smells like the plague
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