I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
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i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
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