I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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