i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
