remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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