i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
