Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
