508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
