Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
