like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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