did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
