the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
