i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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