Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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