I wish I could teleport
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize