I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
