You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
