I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
