3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
