In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize