Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
