I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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