i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
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He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
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I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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