I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
