he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
