Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
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Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
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This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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