I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I can't turn off my feet"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
