Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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