Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
